She’s started dating her ex - the one who hurt her real bad. I’m sad and jealous, though I’m trying to be happy for her.

And am I really a worse option than he is? Is what I’ve done more atrocious than what he’s done to her?

Maybe I am horrible…..

It’s Valentine’s day and I feel so alone. I don’t want to miss her, but I do.

The sad thing is, I doubt she misses me at all. I’ve been cast aside and forgotten. She still means so much to me, and to her, I’m nothing.

Big Day Today

Today was the first day I drove past her place where I didn’t look up at her window.  It wasn’t even a conscious decision not to look up….I just didn’t. Weird. 

The ones who are depressed, don’t dress in black.

The ones who believe they are fat, don’t announce it.

The ones who are scared, don’t scream.

The ones who are struggling, don’t show their scars.

The ones who are hurting the most, are the ones hidden.

It all comes down to the last person you think of at night.

That’s where your heart is.

Pictures of You

I’ve been looking so long at these pictures of you that I almost believe that they’re real.
I’ve been living so long with my pictures of you that I almost believe that the pictures are all I can feel.

If only I’d thought of the right words, I could have held on to your heart. If only I’d thought of the right words, I wouldn’t be breaking apart…
All my pictures of you.

There was nothing in the world that I ever wanted more than to feel you deep in my heart. There was nothing in the world that I ever wanted more than to never feel the breaking apart…
All my pictures of you.

-The Cure

The Honeymoon Period

You know that time…the first 3 months where you’re just so smitten with each other that your heart flutters with the very thought of the other person? I love that time. I miss that time. I long to experience that again. Hopefully one day…

I wonder if she misses me from time-to-time.

I still sleep on MY side of the bed leaving her side completely empty. This causes me pain every night. So much so, that I’d rather pass out on the couch then drag myself to an empty bed - a bed that reminds me of the fact that she no longer sleeps beside me.